i have gathered, from what people have been telling me, that i have an audience for this journal. but the fact is, i don't exactly want an audience for this journal.
i write this journal for one person only.

this is where i come to try to crystallise thoughts that i think are worth crystallising. my days go by and good ideas vanish by the hour, so i try to capture these trains of thought, these concepts which would otherwise be lost. i try to capture them for myself. not 'primarily' for myself, but for myself. 

why should there be an audience if i did not intend there to be one?
 

and to put it bluntly: i didn't ask you guys to read, but if you must, go ahead.

don't be in any way offended though. if people have been reading this whole time. perhaps. perhaps, it is natural that a person would want to escape their own life, and to do so, they must delve into another's. delighting in vicariously living through the life of another, the joy, sorrow, and life that another experiences. much like finding a friend's physical journal on their desk, wouldnt you love to flip through? even if you do not, the idea is indeed tempting for many.

a journal is purposely self-reflective and personal, not primarily for the eyes of the world. in fact, this post is also not intended for an audience, rather it is a temporary split in my mentalities that allows for an objective discourse regarding the issue of my livejournal. a solliloquy perhaps? (doubt i spelled that right)

so if i don't intend people to read this, why would i publish it on the internet?
well, take it as a test if you really want. if i want to write here, i shall. and if you want to perve, you shall hopefully think twice before you do. 

so, i must conclude that, thelooop is what i write for other's to read, to comment on, to interact with, not this livejournal. (that is why i disabled comments)
but if you really want to keep perving, go ahead, just don't expect to gain from it, as i do not have you in mind when i write these.

no offense intended at all of course. knowledge and understanding may be harshly acquired at times.